Recursion B.???

RECURSION

B.???

Olivia and Joseph are themselves again, two betrothed twenty-five year olds, a slim woman and an athletic man, standing nude in an anonymous corridor with two doors. The woman chews her lip, frowns, glances at the man, who blushes and looks away. Strange memories unfold in their minds: of a strange threesome, of sexy reflections, of being bodily joined in a hospital, a freakshow, a wizard’s tower, demonic corruption. Olivia remembers fucking herself, of sharing her wonderful body, the narcissistic thrill of self love, the total exhibition of giving that pleasure to Joe. Joe frowns, recalls being joined to his fiancée, becoming a passenger on her body, a woman’s body, the total emasculation and pleasure of conjoinment, the security of togetherness, the thrill of female orgasm. He looks at Olivia and smiles, shyly.

Olivia sighs and weighs these new experiences. In some ways it’s a confirmation of something she’s always known about herself, something she usually hides from. She loves herself physically, loves her body, loves the sensuality of her own flesh. She loves to masturbate, to be alone and focus on her own sensations, her own pleasure, to expertly tease and guide herself to orgasm after orgasm. She enjoys sex with a partner too, likes making love to Joe, but deep down what she wants most is to fuck herself in the bath and watch her reflection in the mirror as she comes. Olivia swallows, blushes: did this make her a narcissist? What does it mean that she loved it when her fiancé merged with her? That she’d been so excited to share her pleasure with him? To find a mirror and fuck herself, themselves, making Joe another part of her own masturbatory game. And why was that so exiting? So much better than vanilla sex? 

Joe blushes and frowns, unsure of himself. He always knew he wanted to be closer to Olivia, shit, he was planning to marry her till death did them part, but he’d never considered becoming joined to her, becoming part of her… that was an unreasonable level of commitment! And yet the idea gave him a thrill, a sense of rightness? He wanted to be with Olivia forever, and what could be more forever than sharing a single body? Imagine how much they’d share, the total perfect intimacy of being a single beautiful woman together. Of being his own perfect wife. Joe shivers, recalls the pleasurable heft of breasts, the incredible feeling of a pussy penetrated, the strange absence of his cock and balls. It was alien and exciting, and part of being Olivia. Could he actually go through with it? Even if it meant giving up his identity, his masculinity, his independence? He felt his heart swell, "I love you," Joe says, "I want to be with you always."

“I want to be with you too,” Olivia says, “Forever.” And they both wonder what she means, what he means. Did they want to become one person? To be together, totally completely together, for the rest of their lives? Joe blushes and Olivia laughs, nervous but excited. “What do we do now?”

“I’m not sure,” Joe says, taking her hand firmly. Olivia squeezes his hand back, tightly, hungry for connection.

The betrothed couple turns their attention to the two doors leading out of the hallway. One is marked EXIT and one is labelled C. Olivia and Joe are certain, somehow, that walking through the EXIT will be more than just stepping outside, it will be accepting their new knowledge and committing to it. A choice to carry their strange new desires back into their shared lives. Door C represents a mercy, an escape, a chance to restart, to see if some other safer truth can be found. There is a decision to be made.

 

“What should we do?” Joe asks.

Olivia smiles squeezes his hand, tugs on it, “I think you know.”

Together they step forward and…

Go through the EXIT  -OR-  Go through Door C