Chapter 6

Flotsam

Chapter 6: Halley-23

This was a terrible idea...

l am sitting awkwardly in a strippers dressing room trying not to freak out. Halley-23, the woman I’m a backup clone of, the closest version of me on this planet, decided to become an exotic pole dancer in space. With extras. Fuuuuuck.

And now I’m planning to have a nice sit down talk with her. Deep breathes Halley.

As I sit here waiting, my mind runs back to the club, back to Halley-23’s dance routine. The horns of Gonna Fly Now, the red Carmen Sandiego outfit, the brass pole, and her naked body. Her weird, altered naked body. Take another deep breath. Eye of the Tiger plays and Halley Comet, the exotic Earthling stripper, throws open her red coat and bares her six breasts. Six! Six perfect double D tits in three rows. The human men in the crowd cheer and I feel very uncomfortable. Stripper Halley elegantly shrugs off her coat, and stretches her six arms. Six! Again!  She arches her back, stands up on the toes of her go-go boots, all projected curves and lithe limbs. She does a little spin showing off her perfectly toned body, her heart shaped ass. She looks so fucking good. And now she's standing in front of the pole, posing with two arms above her head on the brass, four hands tracing her over her cluster of breasts. She leans forward, the stripper pole nestled in the crack of her ass, until her long, teased-out blonde hair pools on the stage. The men in the audience are now suspiciously, intensely quiet. It is the sound of boners. Boners directed at an idealized version of me. And then Halley Comet is off the ground and on the pole, spinning with her limbs extended. As Eye of the Tiger trundles on stripper-me works that pole, sliding up and down it, rotating in athletic and elaborate eight-limbed configurations, grinding her naked crotch against the metal in a way that communicates directly with every human male in the room, until finally, as the last riffs of the song fade out, Halley-23 is doing the horizontal splits, six-breasted torso pressed to the floor, panting. Halley Comet is a very talented pole dancer and very, very sexy. And I find that I am distressed.

How the fuck did a version of me become a six-titted space stripper?

The dancing thing I can kind of understand. I, or I guess Halley-Prime, knew her way around a brass pole, at least a bit. Privately, behind closed doors. For fun.

It was a few years ago, right after I dropped out of college and moved into the trailer park with Clem. I’d always struggled with anxiety, but this was when it really blossomed, changing from something manageable to a life destroying miasma. My agoraphobia got so bad I couldn't leave the trailer for days at a time, and even on good days I panicked as soon as I left the familiar confines of the park. Clem was there for me as much as he could, but he had to work long hours at his shitty jobs to support us. So I ended up making friends with Maureen, a trailer park neighbour who stripped under the name Topaz. She was beautiful, a sweet young woman running from a broken home and supporting dental hygienist school (and a mostly recreational coke habit) by dancing. One night we got drunk and a bit stoned and Maureen thought it would be fun for me to take a spin on her practice pole, a length of galvanized pipe a handy ex-boyfriend had installed in her trailer. It was fun and something new to do within the safe confines of the trailer park. So I kept at it and practiced and listened to Maureen and by the time I sorted out my agoraphobia enough to leave the park, I’d actually gotten pretty good. Not as good as Topaz or as good as Halley Comet, but passable. Good enough to tease Clem with my skills in the bedroom. Good enough that Maureen tried to talk me into going on stage myself. But... I couldn't do it. The idea of being up there, being stared at by so many people, being that vulnerable, made me panic, made me want to puke. So I gave it up before it even started. Maureen finished school, moved out of the park, and moved on with life. And I got abducted by aliens and cloned.

So, yeah, I know where Halley-23 learned the basics of the exotic art of Earthling pole dancing. But how did she get over the stage fright? And why did she decide to grow those extra tits?

I fidget nervously in the folding chair and drum my fingers on the hard laminate vanity counter. I wish Halley-23 would stop multiply glad-handing her fans and show up already. I just want to get this over with.

"Look who decided to finally, like, show up!" Says my voice brightly from behind me. Shocked I whirl around to see Halley-23 who giggles happily at my surprise. "Like, hi," she says.

"Hi," I manage lamely.

Halley-23 is still completely nude, her red jacket and hat clutched to her side. Up close she is even more beautiful, more of a spectacle.  Her six breasts are large and weightless and too perfect to be real, but still hang and move in a completely natural way. Her six arms, the ones not involved in the mundane business of holding clothes, hang casually, with a natural ease. Her face is still essentially mine, but a bit leaner with lips that are fuller and a nose thats just a little thinner and sharper. And it's all framed by a golden cascade of ass-length, shampoo model platinum blonde hair. I spare a glance in the vanity mirror and with my pale face and messy, shoulder length black hair, I look more like her sister than her clone. Her uglier sister. Her skin, it's tanned in a way my pale-ass flesh could never manage, and it seems to glow and sparkle. I realize that's because it actually, literally, glows and sparkles. What I first thought was body glitter I now see is a constellation of tiny, mirrored scales. And that healthy glow? It's really a faint bioluminescence that's not bright enough to light up a room, but draws attention to Halley and makes her visually pop. The combined effect is that Halley-23 looks like an airbrushed centrefold... in a really wile fetish magazine. She sees me staring, rolls her eyes, grins, and starts hanging her costume on the back of a chair.

Halley slips on a g string and silken robe, turns a chair to face me, and drops gracefully into it. She folds two pairs of hands in her lap and smooths her hair behind her shoulders with the other ones. She leans toward me a bit, "I bet, you like, totally have some questions for me."

I nod, trying not to stare at her still exposed breasts.

"Well I learned to dance on, like, Earth in the trailer park..."

"From Maureen. I remember."

Halley giggles. "Obviously! Sorry, like, it's totally my first time meeting a new me!”

"You're doing fine."

She beams, "You're a sweetie!" Holy crap she is sunny. Is this what being super hot does to a person?

How the fuck did you go from being me, new on Flotsam, to a six-titted naked pole dancer? How do I ask this delicately? "Why did you decide to become a stripper?"

Halley-23 chews her lip cutely. "Wellllll.... Like, the last thing I remembered was like, being in the trailer park? And then I woke up in a weird space bedroom? And Clem was a girl and like he had a naked catgirl slave me and then I totally fainted! So Clementine took me to a bar where I met Hank, who is like, really Halley-2  and he explained the whole, um, like, Flotsam thing and offered me a job working in his shitty bar and like, whatever." Six simultaneous yadda-yadda-yadda hands.

"That is pretty much my entire Flotsam experience so far.”

"Oh you're brand new!" Halley giggles, "I bet like, Hank's huge girlfriend dragged you here."

I nod, getting another giggle.

"Sooo, like, I'm doing the new Halley thing, meeting other clones and like, maybe looking for Halley-Prime? And also doing the waitress thing. But like, Hank is a sweetheart, but his bar kind of sucks? And he can't really pay much." Great my new job is terrible. "And he had this way cool girlfriend Aleese, who was a waitress here and she would, like, invite me to come hang out. Which turned into getting a shift sometimes when like, someone no-showed. Which turned into a regular gig and became like, my main job." She smiles wistfully. "That's how I met my bitches.” 

“Bitches?”

She giggles. “The like, other dancers?”

“Oh.”

"What like, drew me to the dancers was that they were all kinda outsiders. Like, Ssslaine our Reptilain dancer. She’s like, a runt, okay? And Reptilian females all get raised together in like, a way competitive style where they like, try and kill each other. To prove who is best? And like Ssslaine is little so she was like, a natural target. But one of the males that looked after her clutch like, felt way bad for her and smuggled her out to a free human colony? So she like, survived to adulthood as like a weird Reptilian surrounded by humans. And then she had her first adult moult and grew her feathers. And they were totally beautiful in a way that made her pretty to humans. And maybe sexy to humans. And when she danced the way she like, instinctually wanted to, people liked it, so she became a dancer. But she still felt like an outsider so she came to Flotsam, ‘cause it's a whole planet of outsiders. And here she started to take drugs to like, keep the feathers around longer, and danced for money and for other Reptilians. But the Matriachs still totally hate her, so she spends her time around humans and like, avoids Syndicate clubs. Ssslaine’s still kind of a Snake bitch, all stuck up and shit about being like, a superior life form, but she also like, loves us and would do anything to protect us.

“And then there is Sissilliss, the ovipard... the egg laying one. Okay? Her parents were like, indentured to the Reptilians and to like, get out of their debt contracts they sold their daughter to the Snakes. And like, her new owners started to like groom her and Shape her into a lizard-hybrid to make her a pleasure slave. And like, by the time she was grown she already had her scales, and tail, and could lay a small clutch of eggs during her monthly cycle. A highly ranked Syndicate Matriarch bought her and gave her as a like, present to one of her like, lieutenants? But this male was on the like, wrong side of a fight? So like Sissy was given a poisoned knife by a rival Syndicate Lieutenant and during one of her private egg shows, she like, killed her owner and escaped. She ran away to Flotsam and has been making her way dancing since, hoping her past doesn't catch up with her. What's totally crazy is that Sissy is a total sweetie, and like the nicest Sapient on the planet. She is like totally my best friend!

"You saw Kammallaporandoola dance too? The dancer with the scarves? She is like a member of a nomadic group of humans who like, used to be Reptilian slaves? They like rose up and like, kicked the Snakes out, but not before the Snakes totally poisoned their planet. So the people like, built arc ships and started to travel the Nexus, visiting different planets to trade for stuff and repairs. And like, they were way poor or whatever, so they started to use performance to barter for stuff. Like, dance or storytelling or song or acrobatics or whatever.  Some of the original nomads left and settled down, but like, other people who liked that stuff joined the crew. And like, generations went by and it became like a travelling space circus. Which totally made a stop at Flotsam a year ago. It was bonkers to see all these super talented people descending on our shitty little planet. A total party! And like Kamma was a dancer specialist who was just soooo good. But when the ships left, Kamma like, stayed behind. It's kind of a total mystery and she won't like tell us why. But she stayed and started to do different sexy dances and it was great." Halley-23 blushes. "I really like her. Like, like-like her." She giggles, "And she is so fucking into me."

"She's the one with stripes right? And the penis?"

Halley giggles and blushes, "Yeah, it's like a recent thing. She got it Shaped on from Clem as like, a clone-day present for me 'cause she knows I miss cock. It's just, like, for a few days." Halley bites her lip and and makes a sly look, "I'm gonna try and convince her to keep it!" She presses her tongue against the side of her mouth in a pantomime blow job face.

"Coooool..." I say. Changing the subject now. "What about the Blue, uh, smell dancer?"

"Oh! That's Fragrance. She didn't join the dance group until, like, after I joined."

"Fragrance?"

"Blue names are like, too fucking hard to say and like, have a smell component? So they like to have human nicknames. She picked Fragrance ‘cause she’s like a…” Halley pauses and then slowly enunciates, “pher-oh-moan-nal ther-ah-pist? She like, helps Blue couples that have trouble like, connecting sexually. She goes to them and gets herself really horny and makes sexy smells that drive the Blues wild until they fuck. It's like, kind of an important job for the Blues? But it's also kind of lonely 'cause it's kinda like dating a hooker who is also a priest. It also doesn't really pay well, ‘cause it's like a public service? So she started to dance here to make some money on the side. Which is like, great for us since it brings in the Blues, who like, usually aren't super into strippers and exotic dance." Halley leans in and says in a quieter voice, "And like, I think Fragrance gets off on performing? Like, she loves the attention and is kind of an exhibitionist? Which is like, a moral failing for the Blues because it's like, selfish and aggrandizing? Which is stupid 'cause Fragrance is really nice and sweet and just likes to feel sexy sometimes." Halley makes a playful face and whispers, "I bet she is totally jilling off right now." She giggles with a pair of hands covering her mouth.

Okay, TMI. "So you met the girls?"

Halley, "Right! So, like, y'know, it was nice to make friends with these girls who were, like, as lost as I was. We totally started to hang out every night after work. And one night after the club closed we got all tipsy and stuff, and they were asking me about Earth and like, Kamma asked me what Earthling erotic dance looked like. And I was feeling silly and it was just my friends so I thought I would show them? So we looked all over the club and found like, an old pipe that went floor to ceiling like a pole. The girls made music for me, the two scaley gals drummed their tails and like, Kamma hummed a beautiful tune, and I stripped down to my bra and panties and started to pole dance for them. I was rusty, but I could still kinda do it okay. And the girls fucking loved it! They told me they thought I could be like, a real stripper! I was like, so embarrassed, but like also totally flattered!

"While like, this was going on, I was like so over the Halley-Prime drama. Like, I had looked and whatever, but it wasn't fun or like, going anywhere and I was having such a good time with the girls and at the club. So I started to like, avoid Hank and Clem? Not because of like, a fight or anything. Just 'cause, like, they were so tied up in all that Halley shit. I wanted to do me and like, start over. But I couldn't make enough money only being a waitress at the club, I still needed to work and live with Hank. But if I started to dance... well, like, that would totally be enough to move out. Especially if I moved in with Kamma, which she totally wanted. So like, I hit the stage and became the only Earthling stripper on Flotsam." Halley smiles and does a sexy pose in her seat, thrusting out her six tits proudly.

"I still don't know how you managed to dance on stage in front of people!"

Halley giggles, "Oh that..." There is a soft knock outside the door. Halley puts on a plastic smile, "Come in!"

And into the room walks the greasiest motherfucker I've seen on this whole planet. Dude’s a pale human man with thinning hair, a neck beard, and pale blotchy skin. He’s wearing a thin leather blazer with the sleeves rolled up to show off a lizard scale tattoo on his forearm, except it's not a tattoo, it's a patch of actual scales growing from his skin. His scaly clawed hand is clutching a small metal suitcase. He turns his head and his left cheek is covered in scales too, his left eye yellow and slit-puppilled. He sees me and smiles, yellow fangs flashing, a forked tongue slipping out of his disgusting mouth. From living in a trailer park I know a low level drug dealer when I see one. "Comet! Baby! You didn't tell me you had a hot Ssisster!"

Halley giggles in a way I can tell is fake, "Oh you!" She dimples, bites her lip, and makes a show of averting her eyes, "Do you have my Bliss?"

"Would old Adder have ssslithered all the way down here if he didn't have the ssstuff?" He says playfully. His tongue tastes the air again, and his intensity ratchets up a gear "Do you have my money?"

Halley slips a Keyband over one of her wrists and holds it out to the drug dealer. He touches it with his Keyband and a display flashes green. "Atta girl!" He says now, all disgusting, fanged smiles. He opens up his little case and draws out five steel canisters, which from Clem's brief paintball job I recognize are miniature compressed gas cylinders. He hands these to Halley one at a time, who catches each one in a different hand. He carefully reseals his case, tongues the air, and leers at us. "Now have fun girlssss. I'll be ssseeing you!" And exit scummy lizard drug dealer man.

Halley watches the door for a few seconds longer, seemingly to make sure that Adder has truly fucked off, before releasing the breath she’d been holding.

"This is how I get onto stage," says Halley brandishing one of the cylinders.

"You get fucking high!" My sister clone is a six-titted stripper junkie!

"Oh slow the fuck down," Halley mutters as she puts the other cylinders into a drawer with a lock and pulls out something that looks a lot like an asthma inhaler. "This isn't like, crack or anything. It's called Bliss and it's like the best fucking anti-anxiety medication that I've ever used.” She looks down at the inhaler device and fiddles with it, removing a spent canister. “Like, we have tried all the Earth meds for anxiety and like, none of them really worked all that well. And the side effects? Like, weight gain and not feeling sexy and like making us more depressed?” Not to mention the one that made us super constipated. I nod begrudgingly. “Bliss like, actually works. Actually makes me feel brave or whatever. And it makes everything a little like, happier? Brighter?” Halley sticks out her tongue a little and peels off the wax seal from a fresh Bliss canister and inserts it into her inhaler. It makes a little hiss as it snaps into the mechanism. “So it like, helps with the depression and anxiety, and like, a couple hits a day and I can go dance on stage and be like, sunny for the crowd.” Halley licks her lips and lifts the inhaler to her mouth. She delicately seals her lips around it, closes her eyes, and activates the device. It makes a sharp whooshing sound and Halley breathes deeply, sucking greedily at the drug. She flops back in her chair bonelessly and groans in contentment, a waft of escaped drug vapour giving the room a faintly botanical smell. She giggles in pure happiness and looks up at me, stretched out and beautiful, “It also like, gives you a fucking great high for a few minutes.”

“What about side effects? You sound like...”

“Like totally a bimbo?” Halley-23 rolls her eyes. “Yeah, Bliss like, makes me sound dumb. I’m like, still smart or whatever, but Bliss fucks with my translation nanites so I sound way dumb. It’s like, embarrassing but whatever.”

I make a face, “Translation nanites?”

Halley giggles, “And people think I’m a ditz!? Didn't you like, wonder why all these aliens seem to be speaking English?”

Whoops, that’s a bit embarrassing. I blush,  “Now that you mention it...”

Halley smirks at me like she’s scored a point. “Well, like, Sissy likes to use Bliss sometimes and like offered me a hit and like, it made me feel really great. So when everyone said I should totally pole dance on stage I was too scared until I thought about using Bliss.” She giggles, “and like one good hit of this and I was on stage in my panties humping a pole for cash!”

“Wild.” Totally fucking wild. “And how did that lead to the whole...”

“Six tits and arms?”

“I was going to say ‘new look’.”

More giggling, “So like, the exotic art of Earthling pole dancing got me into the business. But like, the bit wasn’t going to stay mine forever. In just like a couple months there were like, fake Earthlings spinning on poles and totally horning in on my shtick. So I needed to find like, an advantage? And like, Kamma pointed out that I could get free Shaping. So I went and got a fortune in work done.”

Halley smiled wistfully. “Clem is such a sweetheart, she was so happy to help me! And like, if you get Shaped, you should totally do it on Bliss. Something about the drug like, interacts with Shaping so that it feels reeallllllyyy gooood.” Halley clutches her six boobs and blushes, “The feeling of the Shaping nanites reaching into my tits, like, pulling and massaging and like, growing them... it made my clit so fucking hard!” Halley giggles, “I gooshed right there on the table!” She strokes her arms, “and the feeling of my new arms growing was like, a warm long massage that got me all horny again. So I like totally jumped Clem’s bone and fucked her.”

And now I'm picturing my space princess boyfriend fucking my mutant stripper alter ego. It’s all six big breasts mashed up against three smaller ones, so many arms and a tail roaming, soft faces kissing hungrily, and an impressively large cock plunging into Halley making her giggle and pant and moan. Until they both goosh. Ugh, its kind of hot. I blush, “What about your girlfriend?”

“Kamma?” Halley giggles, “she was there and like, joined right in!” Halley smiled impishly, “We totally double teamed Clem as a thank you.” Dang, okay mental picture just levelled up...

“Anyway!” I say.

Halley has a bit of a giggle fit. "Geez, we need to get you some Bliss to loosen up!" Dubious stare. "No? Okay." She cutely rolls her eyes, "so like, having these extra tits and arms and having my like, overall sexiness jacked up gave me a really big advantage. No other dancers were gonna be able to like, afford this kind of Shaping. So I'm kinda like *The* Earthling Pole Dancer on Flotsam. And like, I realized that Clem could help the other girls get better too. So like Kamma got her stripes Shaped into her skin, which she can make glow or change colour if she wants. And Sissy got her eggy parts like, supercharged so she can lay so many eggs at once and do it four times a day if she wants. Or like, none at all if she isn't dancing. Ssslaine got her feathers grown from her body like, permanently so that she could stop taking hormonal drugs that make her feel shitty. Which took fucking forever because she isn't human. And then we were like totally a super group of strippers! Especially after we got Fragrance and a few other rad ladies to join up. Next thing, we like, bought out the Menagerie with a few backers, so like all us bitches have a stake in the club. So we like do really good and can like, be fair to freelancers too." Halley giggles, "Not bad for like, a bimbo stripper, right?"

I nod. I didn't want to be an erotic dancer, but if I did that sounded like a pretty sweet setup.

A knock at the door and there is Sissy wearing a drapey fuchsia toga and looking kind of sheepish. Well, as sheepish as a lizard-person can look anyway. "Ssso sssorry to interrupt, but the girlss are keen to get going... Ssslaine is getting difficult."

Halley rolls her eyes, "Oh, I like, fucking bet she is! Tell her to hold onto her tail feathers. I'll be out in like, a minute."

Sissy nods and smiles at me, "It'ss very nice to meet you, new Halley." And then she shyly ducks out of the room. 

"Okay, like, sorry to run, but there is concert in the club tonight? So me and the girls get to go out for once." Halley wiggles into a sheath of fabric that hangs over her body like a loose tunic with openings for all of her arms. She touches her Keyband and the fabric shrinks, becoming a very short lycra-looking dress in metallic red that hugs her body like a second skin. Halley looks critically at her go-go boots, shrugs, and piles her hair up on top of her head in a lazy top knot. She grabs a white faux fur looking cape garment and flings it over her shoulders. Halley strikes a pose, and moues at me playfully. "How do I look?"

She looks fucking hot and carefree in a way I have never been in my entire life. "You look good. Really good."

She smiles and giggles, obviously pleased.

As she ushers me out of her dressing room Halley-23 takes my hands in a pair of hers. "If I can offer you like, a piece of advice? About life on Flotsam? It's find your bliss." She giggles, "not like the drug or whatever, but like, what will make you actually happy. It's something we Halley's find way hard." She envelops me in a six armed hug with so many tits and gives me a wet kiss on the cheek. "Don't be a stranger sweetie." She releases me and struts down the hallway looking hot as fuck towards her weird, sexy friends. Halley sees me watching and winks, "Good luck!"

***

Chapter 7