Part 5

Quantum Bound

Part 5: Climax! 

(Story by Indigocarmine; Artwork by KSG)

“I want to suck on your clit till it hurts...” I growl, wondering if that’s actually sexy.

Christina aka Jizzelle Les Biens lids her eyes in pleasure and the vertical pussy she has instead of a mouth spasms and dribbles juices. So yeah, hot I guess?

Behind us Timothy aka Lance Poleaxe smacks our ass and says “Oh do you want it?”

“More power Lanthe!” The director lisps. “You’re *taming* her, remember? Thowing the lethbian what the’th mithing!”

I feel Chris-Jizzelle squirm a little and ugh, I get it. It might be the storyline we agreed to, but hearing it out loud sucks. Which, Mithter Director Man, is not helping with the mission here.

Tim-Lance smacks our ass harder and yells, “You like that bitch!?” Which is also not really helping.

I stretch my long, long neck over and bite the lobe of Chris’ ear, rasp a breath where she’ll feel it. “I’m gonna spank you till you beg...” Jizzelle makes a moist groaning sound while Lance keeps smacking away. 

“I bet I can eat your pussy better than any girl lover!” Lance brags to the camera. As if buddy. But he pushes us forward and buries his face in our ass, starts to lick our pussy. “Do you feel that?” I ask Chris. “That’s my tongue pressing into your hot wet pussy.” Which is ridiculous because we’re face to face, but she seems to like the idea, so okay. I lick my lips. “Mmmmmm,” I purr, “you’re delicious...” Lance finally tags a good spot and Jizzelle gasps, pussy spittle spraying from her face.

“Yeth!” The director says, “Exthellent Lanthe!” Which is just no respect for the ghost fluffer, Allison aka Coach.

Lance is finally finding his groove in our groove and he isn’t bad at cunnilingus at all. I close my eyes to enjoy the feeling, focus on it, let my own sensations of pleasure wash over us, making Jizzelle drool and moan on camera. I’m the only one of us who actually likes the idea of a porno-jacked hunk eating our pussy, so I’ve gotta enjoy it enough for the both of us. I moan and Jizzelle joins me, presses our long weird quadrupedal body back onto Lance’s face, wrapping our sinuous tail around his shoulders. I'd always joked that I wanted to be in porn, but I never thought it would be guiding a lesbian pornstar through her lucrative first guy-girl shoot. 

“Now let me show you what you’ve really been missing out on!” Lance says while brandishing his remarkably long and girthy cock. The poleaxe to his lance. My eyes are a little wide and Chris shoots me a worried glance. “Mmm, baby, I’m gonna fill you up with my nice long hard strapon,” I promise her. “Fill you up and pound you till you cum!” Hopefully she’s into that? 

Lance grabs us by the hips and the film crew quickly scampers around to get a close up of our first filmed penetration. Lance pushes the glans of his condom wrapped penis, which is holy crap, so big and hot, against our vulva. I focus on how nice it feels pressed against us, how much I’m actually looking forward to it pushing into us, stretching us, filling us. Chris still looks a little freaked out so I kiss her on her vaginal-lips and ask, “Are you ready?” She nods and wraps our long flexible tail around Lance’s chest, as if to pull him into us. What a trooper.

Christina really is doing her best despite not being attracted to guys. Chris aka Jizzelle Les Biens has been doing porn for a few years now and being super gay and lipstick pretty, she’s managed to carve out a nice little career doing strictly girl-girl scenes for a mostly heterosexual male audience. But when the studio offers a whopping payday, a house-down-payment amount of money, to finally fuck a guy on camera, she decided she had to go for it. These kinds of big paydays don’t come along very often and a lady pornstar’s career is usually measured in months not years. Besides, tons of women in porn pretend to like a lot of things for far less money. Chris knows that most of her on camera lady lovers weren’t really queer, but were open-minded and willing to enthusiastically fake it for a buck. Couldn’t she suck it up for one shoot? She’d fucked a few guys way back before she'd sorted out her sexuality. What was one more? And hell, she was even friends with Tim aka Lance. She was a professional! She could do this!

But it turns out that maybe she can’t? Or at least not without help. Which is where I manifest in to feel aroused and fluff my bodymate through this one scene. “Oh baby,” I murmur into her ear, “I’m going to make you cum so hard with my big rubber cock....”

Lance starts to push himself into us, penetrate us, slowly so slowly, playing to the cameras. It feels so, so good to me: we are already so wet, there is plenty of lube onboard, and his cock is so wonderfully big. “Ahhh-hhhh...” I say, unable to hold it in as I feel inch after inch after inch of porno-scale dick slide into us, stretch us, fill us. Oh fuck but it’s enormous! “I’mmm, ahh, going to, ohhh, split you in t-twoooOOooo...”

I look at Chris and I can see in her eyes that I’m losing her a bit, that my dirty talk isn’t up to smut. She can clearly tell the difference between the dildo fantasy I’m selling and the feeling of a real life cock inside us. “Still want to keep going?” I gasp and she nods, which is a bit of a relief since her paycheck and my escape route rely on us finishing the scene. But how can I get her back to having fun?

I rear my long flexible bronto neck and face-tackle Chris with a kiss, mashing my face into the cleft of her facial-cunt. She moans in her throat as I make out with her, scraping the clit she has instead of a nose with mine, licking and kissing and chewing her labial-lips with my mouth. If she wants to have sex with a woman, then damn it, she can have sex with me! Just weird face sex. And suddenly everything works, a two-headed woman fucking herself while being plowed by a porno dude. Without Chris’ trepidation holding us back, our body's arousal skyrockets, a feedforward dynamo of pleasure! Our heads glow from the passion of our facial sex, that warm, soft, insistent pleasure of good oral, while our cunt is being slowly, deliciously filled. Ooooh! Chris’ cunt-mouth spasms in joy and my mouth fills with the pungent taste of her juices. Fuck yes! This is the kind of weird shit I’m talking about!

Somewhere behind us Lance has finally bottomed out his huge cock, the skin of his pelvis is pressed against our ass. And oooohhh he’s such a big man! He grabs us by the hips and just rocks there for a minute, pressing himself into us, letting us feel how huge he is, how much he’s stretching us, making sure we are ready for what he's promising to do. I moan into Chris’ face-cunt. Fuck, I’m ready! Fuck us! And Lance does, starting sort of slowly, mindful not to hurt us, long smooth thrusts that test our waters. Our waters are wet and yes, fuck us! Fuck us now! I bite Chris’ face labia in need and she gasps in shocked pleasure! Lance starts to go faster, building up speed and force, making us rock on our four legs, thrusting, thrusting, thrusting, lunging against us! Jackhammering our cunt! Stretching us, splitting us in two, tearing us gloriously asunder! Fuuucckkk!

I press my face into Chris’ face-cunt, gasping and wailing, licking as best as I can, but more using my nose to stroke her cunt as I moan uncontrollably. Chris helps though, doing her share of the work, grinding the wet gash of her face along mine, helping to stroke her clit. Fuuuuck this is so good! My face is soaked in pussy and my mouth tastes of cunt and a woman’s hot gasps are blowing right in my face while behind us we are being smashed, hammered, piledriven to sexual oblivion! Oh! Oh fuck fuck fuck! We are all so close and ahhhhhh! Chris’ is coming, smashing her face into mine as her long neck arches, eyes round circles of wonderful shock! And then holy crap, Lance is gripping us and going rigid, straining against us and even though he’s wearing a condom I can feel him coming inside of us and Fuck! OOooooooooooo! Ahhhhhhh! We’re coming in our main cunt! Faces separated, long necks arched and flailing, a geyser of juice spraying from Chris’ cunt-face! And oh Jesus fuck! “Ahhhhhhh....

***

“.....Hhhhhh....” I’m somewhere new, red-faced and gasping! “Oh Jesus! Fuck....”

“Wow, sounds like you were having a good time. Should I be jealous?”

I glance over my shoulder and see my new bodymate, a handsome woman with a strongish chin and short brown hair. She looks familiar, but I can’t quite place the face. I blow out a deep breath, try and calm our racing heart. “Sorry, my last assignment was, well, porny.” I smile my professional greeting smile, “Hi, I’m Coach and I’m here to help you with something.”

“Actually Allison,” the woman says, “I’m here to help you.”

I blink my eyes, what? “What do you mean help me? And how do you know my name?”

My bodymate smiles a painfully familiar, crooked smile, “Allie, don’t you recognize me?”

My brain does the rolodex thing, trying to match the itching sense of familiarity to a name, anyone that I know. I squint and chew my lip, I definitely don’t recognize this woman, but there is something there... like she’s someone’s cousin or sister or no. No, it can’t be!

“It’s me, Jack, and I’m going to free you from this curse.”

***

I look up from my steaming cup of tea and survey the rain dewed and badly overgrown garden. I finally found Jack. I am attached to my feminized boyfriend who I thought I’d lost, sitting at a wrought iron table in the garden of a spectacular but rundown mansion drinking tea. Tea made on a camp stove. By Jack. Who I am attached to. Who looks like a woman. Jack who claims he knows how to end my curse. How to free me. This can’t possibly be happening.

Jack holds up the battered enamel mug and I take another sip of tea. My mouth floods with the painfully familiar taste of his random blend of loose leaf ‘ragbag’ tea, that slight tang of metal from his old kettle, the feeling of the chipped enamel rim of his mug against my lips. I sigh and Jack pulls his scratchy surplus blanket tighter around us, another feeling that I’ve desperately missed. “I still can’t believe it.”

Jack presses his, or maybe her, face against mine, cheek to cheek. “Believe it.”

Jack’s cheek is silky soft, with none of the rough stubble scratch I expect. The curse has changed things, changed Jack. Before scuttling outside for tea, Jack took us to find an antique mirror in a room only half shod with floorboards so we could see ourselves. And, well, it looks like Jack signed up for the premium Coach-curse experience. We have two heads sharing the same shoulders, my trademark fez complete with magical amethyst choker and Jack’s newly female face, strong-chinned yet delicate, heart-shaped but with his same nose and eyes. We have four arms, more toned than mine ever were but definitely feminine, ending in four calloused hands with chipped finger nails. The rough hands of a lady carpenter. We have an hourglass torso with four large breasts and a narrow waist that flares into our oddly configured lower body. We have four elegant legs, but instead of being pointed in a useful direction, our legs and feet are naturally akimbo, pointed in opposite directions and bent at the knee, as if two people were seated back-to-back. A posture not unlike squatting; reminiscent of a crab or a living chair. In between our front legs we have a pussy in the usual position, and the crotch between our rear-facing legs has a cock and balls, although a weird one. The testicles are pretty standard, if enlarged a bit, but the cock seems to double as a prehensile tail, easily four feet of smooth tail-slash-cock ending in a porno-Lance-sized circumcised glans. Jack can move the tail on command, flexible and dexterous as a lizard or monkey tail, and I can’t help but notice it’s probably long enough that we can fuck ourselves..... I shake my head, now isn’t the time. “How did this? How did you?”

“I have my ways.”

“Oh fuck off. Dish!”

Jack giggles, which is weird. “Honestly, it’s been a whole thing, and I feel quite clever about figuring it out.”

“Okay Batman.”

“Batman, eh? Did you pick that up on your magical walkabout?”

“I’ve been culturally enriched,” I smile, loving every moment of this. “But get on with it.”

Jack puffs out his cheeks, a familiar gesture made uncanny by his new face. “So you disappeared, right? Went off for a job, one of your maid deals, and fell right off the grid. At first I was just a little worried, it’s not unlike you to wander off on some distraction and forget to check your phone. But after a few days I figured something was up; losing contact wasn’t unusual but you had either gotten into trouble or were actively ghosting me.”

“Well, I have been ghosting lately...”

That giggle again, “Yeah, but not in the secretly breaking up with me way. I figured you’d at least tell me if we were done, since say what you want about Allison Forester-Wolffe, but she’s at least straight ahead.”

“You got the ‘a head’ part right.”

“I thought it was more likely that you stuck your nose where it didn’t belong and got yourself into actual trouble. I called the maid service app folks, and they gave me a great big runaround about privacy and client privilege and proprietary software nonsense, but when I pointed out how bad the PR would be if I leaked to the press that a maid disappeared and was maybe murdered using their service, they gave me your last known whereabouts. So I hopped in the truck and drove right to that big old house...”

“Oh God, what happened?”

“Well it was a really beautiful old house, just a great example of an ornate Queen Anne with very little evidence of modernization...”

“And you got fixated on the house?”

Jack clears his throat and looks away, an embarrassed and guilty lady. “Maybe a little...”

“It was painted entirely in blacks and greys!”

“I appreciated the commitment to an aesthetic?”

I can’t help but smile, fuck I missed him. “You’re hopeless.”

“Afraid so. Anyway, I maybe forgot why I was there for just a minute, and started to inspect the house and noticed that a gutter had come loose and broken some of the decorative trim a bit. It wasn’t really bad yet, but it’s the kind of thing that gets worse in a hurry if you don’t take care of it.”

“Oh my God, you fixed it didn’t you?”

“Well I had my tools with me in the truck and it was only going to take a few minutes. It seemed a shame not to,” Jack blushes prettily. “So I rehang the gutter and am working on gluing the trim back together and touching up the paint as best I can, when this nice old lady in a canary yellow dress comes out with lemonade and thanks me for being such a nice boy.”

“That old crone is a witch!”

“I know that now...”

“You drank lemonade made by an evil witch!”

Jack winks, “And I didn’t even get turned into a newt! But I did remember why I was there. I told her you’d gone missing, that I was looking for you, and since this was the last place anyone had seen you, I asked her if she knew anything that could help. The old bird made a sour face, called you a nasty, pushy little thing, and I’d laughed and said that sounded about right to me, but still I’d appreciate any help. The woman sighed hugely, told me it was sad to see a good boy like me wasted, but because I had done her a boon she would help me find you. She took me inside her house, and what a collection of oddball stuff, eh? Knickknacks and curios right to the rafters! Well, she took me to her dressing room, opened this enormous Victorian jewelry box and handed me this ring.” Jack holds up a slim but rough hand wearing an emerald encrusted antique ring. “She told me that if I wore it, I’d have much better luck finding you, and for some reason I believed her absolutely. I’ve basically worn it ever since.”

“So what’s so special about this ring?”

“Ever since I started wearing it I’ve been able to notice strange, impossible things. Which I thought must be magic? And that idea just felt absolutely right to me. Which I guess is part of the ring’s, uh, enchantment?”

“So you could see into the curse from the outside.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, but I don’t know how that helps much. It’s not like I was parading around the neighborhood on a stranger’s body yelling at you.”

“That sure would’ve been helpful! Instead I had to do all the usual missing person stuff: call everyone you know, file a missing persons report, hang posters, google your name...”

“Google? Really?”

“Make fun, but that’s how I found you! It didn’t work for months, but suddenly,” Jack does air quote fingers which bracket both our heads, “‘Allison Forester-Wolffe’ returned a fresh hit for a webpage called Coach’s Crew. It was this immaculately designed message board where folks discussed their misadventures with Coach; this cursed head who suddenly appeared in their lives, helped them solve a problem, and then whooshed off back into the aether. A lot of the messages where people trying to unpack what had happened to them with the only other people who believed them, but some of the Crew were trying to help Coach, to figure out who she was, track down her family, maybe try and rescue her. And one of the users posted your name, which meant I could finally find the page. But only if I was wearing my magic ring, if I took it off, the thing wouldn’t exist for my browser.”

“Hmm... that’s funny, I kind of decided not tell anyone my real name....”

“Well the user MomTaur apparently knew it.”

MomTaur? Who could that… Abby! I instantly smile and then shake my head, holy crap do I miss her. “So you found my online fan club.”

“Yep and from them I learned about what happened to you: the curse, the magical rules, some of your misadventures. The whole deal.”

I can’t help myself and blush. “Ummm...”

Jack giggles, “Special circumstances. It’s all good.”

I blow out a breath, that could have been awkward. “So how do you go from knowing I’m cursed to getting my head stuck to you?”

Jack smiles like he just aced a test, “We figured out how the rest of the curse works.”

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t you ever wonder why you ended up conjoined to these specific people?”

Huh? Oh. Dang, I should’ve. “I was a bit busy...”

“Well, all your fans compared notes and it turns out there was a method to the madness. Everyone made a wish for help while near something to do with two heads.”

“What do you mean?”

Jack starts to tick off examples with his fingers. “Well Trepied, the graphic designer who made the website, was working on a two-headed dog logo when she wished for help feeling fulfilled. The logo was for a company called Orthos who are planning to use drones and RFID tags to track cattle securely if you can believe it. AngelKitty wished for help losing her virginity while reading her Gemini horoscope. Rockstar69 was noodling with a double neck guitar when she made her wish. Titania was screwing up a line from the Merchant of Venice.” Jack clears his throat and does a dramatic actress voice, “Now, by two-headed Janus, Nature hath framed strange fellows in her time...” I say a little bravo and Jack continues, “Curatrix wished while reading a history of the Consuls of Rome, the two Heads of State of Ancient Rome.” Jack runs out of fingers on one left hand and starts in on the second, “Roxy made a wish on the Queen of Hearts card she'd lost a big bet on right before jumping out of an airplane naked. Felicia wished for help proposing while reading a comic with the villain Two-Face on the cover. MomTaur, your friend Abby, made her wish while running along Twin Sisters Peaks Lane. And so on.”

I shake my head and wonder if Christina aka Jizzelle Les Biens made her wish on a double-ended dildo. “Okay, so how did knowing how the curse works get you a date with Coach?”

“I set a honey trap.” Jack reaches into the chest pocket of the unbuttoned flannel we’re wearing under the blanket and pulls out a shiny quarter. He holds it up and shows me the side with Washington in profile. “Heads,” he says before turning the coin over to show another Washington, “also Heads. With this two-headed talisman I could just keep making wishes and hope it worked. Flip the coin twenty times every morning and wish, carry the coin around all day and idly wish now and then, do some more flipping and wishing every night before bed.” Jack smiles sideways at me, beautiful despite his different face, “And it worked.”

“It did,” I smile back. “That’s actually pretty clever.”

“Thanks. Felicia, sorry, Tracy gave me the idea, she deserves the credit. Apparently it’s part of Two-Face’s gimmick.”

“She!?”

“Yeah, really pretty, blue hair, six boobs, has a long tail, owns a comic book shop....”

“She was a guy before I was stuck to her! Him! Whatever!”

“Yeah...” Jack shakes his feminine head, “It turns out your extras didn’t go away when you did. Abby still has four legs, Trepieds is still a tripod, and Tracy is still a woman.”

“Fuck...” That sucks! These poor people are stuck as freaks because I’d gotten myself cursed and swept up in their lives. All of them warped by my bullshit! I was supposed to be helping them! And oh God, what about some of the weirder changes? Like poor Christina with her cunt face and porno-brontosaur body? “Fuck... that’s so unfair!”

“Allie, it’s not your fault. Everyone on the web forum blames the witch not you. You’re a victim of the curse, not the perpetrator. Plus the rest of the curse stuff is still working, so everyone’s bodies fit into their lives and seem normal to regular folks. Everyone is coping with their changes. Most of them are totally okay, some of them even like them. You don’t have to beat yourself up.”

I’m totally going to beat myself up about this! How can I not? Being stuck on four legs or having your gender swapped and... oh shit! “Jack! You’re a girl!”

“I think technically we’re a hermaphrodite.” 

“Jack...”

“I am still trying to decide if I like Jacqueline or Jacky more. Leaning Jacqueline, but I’ll probably still mostly go by...”

“Jack!” I’m almost crying.

“Allison, it’s okay! I knew exactly what was going to happen and I did it anyway. I chose this, and being turned into a lady was something I was willing, happy to do to rescue you. To get you back. I love you and I couldn’t bear not being with you or the thought of leaving you in trouble like that.” Jack uses our hands to turn my head to face his, hers, and kisses me on the mouth. “I’d do it again too. A hundred times. A thousand!”

I’m speechless and don’t know how to feel. I feel guilty obviously, torn up that Jack had to make such a profound sacrifice just to save me. At the same time I’m amazed at the depth of his or her love for me, the fact Jack would do all this for me, would transform himself and glue me to his body just to be with me. That’s just enormous! I’m overjoyed in a way, but guilty all over again because how the fuck do I deserve this? Why does this amazing person care about me this much? And then there is a selfish part of me that’s just sad, sad that the man I love is in a way gone, that his rough cheeks and strong arms and hairy chest have been replaced by this new woman. A new woman who, well, my time as Coach has certainly taught me that I’m less wedded to heterosexuality than I’d thought, and femme Jack is pretty and handsome and cute in a butch way that I definitely could get behind or below or whatever direction is going to apply. Next to? Anyway, Jack is still Jack, and I want to be with him or her or whatever and never let them go. “I love you too,” I affirm before kissing her back. “Forever.”

Jacqueline-maybe smiles her remixed crooked smile, “Good.”

“So what’s next? We go find the witch you’re somehow friends with to undo the curse?” And maybe get her to fix all my past bodymates and turn she-Jack back into he-Jack? “Maybe get everything returned to normal?”

Jack shakes her head, “Afraid not. After I learned what had happened to you, I tried to go back and bargain with her. I thought maybe I could barter a full restoration of her house for getting you uncursed.”

“What happened?”

“The house was gone like it had never been there; just an empty lot. I think the magic ring is all the help we’re going to get.”

“Fuck,” I say. Being stuck to Jack is an enormous improvement over being a wandering ghost head, but it’s still being a ghost head. No body of my own, no control of my limbs, and being invisible to just about everyone still sucks, even if I get to be with my favorite person. And who knows how long it will last? Maybe I’m one wrong move away from completing my mission here and being whisked away to another episode of Quantum Coach! “Shit, what did you even wish for?”

“Well, I was going to wish for help finding you, but AngelKitty on the forum told me that would be a horrible spell since it was a self-fulfilling wish, and that you’d probably just disappear as soon as you manifested. She suggested I pick something more mundane with a set endpoint, so I wished for help finishing the renovation of this old mansion.”

I look out at the overgrown tangle of the once formal gardens and think about what I’d seen of the house. The kitchen was gutted, the hardwood floors were a work in progress, and there were bare patches of clapboard showing through the broken plaster. There was a ton of work to do still, probably more than a year even if Jack worked quickly, and far longer if he took his time. Maybe he could never complete it? The house was grand in its ramshackle glory and there were worse places to haunt. Maybe they could just abandon the project? What would happen if they left and someone else fixed the place up? Or knocked it down? Would that satisfy the rules of the curse? It felt risky... “So what, we just leave the place unfinished and hope no one else tries to finish the job?”

“No, I can do better than that.” Jack smiles ear to ear, “Allison, Coach, I know how to free you from your curse.”

***

Jack takes us back into the mansion, through the once great room and the dining room with the peeling wall, into the gutted kitchen, and down a flight of stairs into the basement. The walls are roughly quarried stone, part of the foundation, and the air smells worryingly of mildew and damp. We reach the bottom and stare into a looming darkness before Jack snaps on a bare lightbulb revealing an unfinished space with a brick floor and wooden shelves, most of which are in a sorry state of disrepair. She marches us deeper into this crypt, careful not to trip on the uneven warped floor. The old house looms above us, heavy and brooding, almost disapproving of us. I feel silly, but it’s actually a little spooky. 

Jack leads us to a heavy wooden door in the darkest corner of the basement and opens it, our muscles strain with its solid weight. The space behind is completely dark, that smooth almost satiny void of underground. Jack bends us in a weird four-legged squat and gropes on the floor,  finds a matchbook. She strikes a match and I blink at the sudden light. Jack lights a candle and then another and another, big white wax candles, already partially used, dried wax dribbled down the sides and onto the ground. I can see we’re in some sort of wine cellar, an annex to the basement with quarried stone walls, a packed dirt floor, and a curved vaulted ceiling of brick. It seems too large for a private wine collection, maybe the size of an average living room, but feels claustrophobic in the flickering glow of the candles and brooding weight of its walls. Jack slowly moves around the room, using a narrow taper to light dozens of candles spread along the walls of the cavern. The lit candles throw out a seething warm light that dances and casts shadows. In the growing light I can see there are objects hanging, dangling from strings. Hung from the walls are bouquets of dried flowers and bundles of rosemary and thyme and strings of garlic and onions. There are also talismans of some sort, old steel scissors hung from the ceiling on strings, turning lazily, casting riotous shadows on the bare walls, huge silhouettes of cutting. I shiver despite the growing heat. As Jack finishes her candle lighting circuit she stops at a little altar strewn with more herbs, jars full of nails, open antique wine bottles, and a stained mortar and pestle. She bends down and carefully lights sticks of some sort of incense, spicy and pungent. Jack steps out of our sandals and takes off our oversized plaid shirt, leaving us naked, sweat beading on our skin in the growing heat. She stretches us, twisting our eight limbs until joints pop, and then carefully moves us to the middle of the room where I see there is a circle drawn with a thick trail of salt. Jack steps us into the circle taking the utmost care not to disturb the salt outline.  “Are you prepared?” She asks ominously.

I look around this carefully prepared ritual Jack has created underground and shiver, butterflies in our stomach. When did she learn all this? What would even happen next? Our heart is thundering in our chest and I feel giddy and strange, everything seems almost dreamlike. Is this even real? I nod my head yes, worried that saying anything would be sacrilegious somehow.

“If I do this you’ll be free of your curse, but you’ll also be stuck here, with me, for the rest of our lives. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

The heat and light are coming at me in waves, I feel feverish and hot and like I’d falter and collapse if Jack wasn’t holding us up with our four strong legs. The shadows of scissors dance with life, pantomime cutting. Sweat drips down my face, trickles down our body. I nod again, being here with Jack is a million times better than being lost and alone. “Yes,” I whisper.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And with that Jack reaches up with the hand wearing the magic ring, the emeralds on it flashing fiery green in the candle light, and grasps the cursed amethyst choker on my neck. His hand touches the clasp and... undoes it? Just like that? The necklace falls off my neck into waiting hands. I expect to feel a shock, a thunderclap, a magical jolt... but nothing... 

“All done.” Jack says. 

I blink my eyes and touch my throat, feel where that cursed choker had been fused to me all this time. “I’m free...?” Tears well in my eyes and then I realize that *I* had touched myself, that I'd controlled my own hand and arm! I gasp and smile,  “I’m free!”

“You are,” Jack says, smiling at me.

“Hold on, you just took off the necklace? That was it?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure the magical ring made it possible, but yeah.”

I look around the cavern with its salt circle and talismans and assorted other witchy decorations. “Then what the hell was all this for?”

“I wanted the moment to feel dramatic. Special.”

“So this was all for ambiance!?”

“I had some time to kill waiting for you.”

“You incredible dork!” I reach up with our arms and pull Jack’s face to mine, kiss her with all of the passion and gratitude I can muster. “You rescued me!”

Jack blushes, “I guess I did.”

“So what’s next?”

“Whatever you want. You’re free.”

***

Apparently what I want is to squat in Jack’s ‘office’ in front of an improvised desk made of a door on saw horses while Jack laboriously logs into his old laptop and tries to open a video chat. The computer bongs angrily and Jack winces, then promises it’ll be worth the wait and starts over. I roll my eyes and take another sip of tea. All on my own! I sigh fondly, at least there’s a nice view of the garden.

For a while after escaping the curse I just kind of wandered. Jack led me to a bedroom where we dressed ourselves in another red plaid shirt and a loose navy peasant skirt, which is of course the kind of clothes that femme Jacqueline would wear. BoHo-Lumberjane-style aversions aside, I have to admit that the big skirt works pretty well with our spidery leg configuration. Once dressed, Jack silently let me pilot our body around and decompress. I explored the house, delighted at opening every doorknob, being able to choose which rooms to enter and how much time to spend in each one. I went outside without having to suggest it or ask for permission, I just did it because I wanted to, and then meandered through the feral gardens. I touched flowers and pulled leaves off plants and got our feet wet and pointed at birds. I laughed and smiled, and yeah cried a little too. Suddenly being free is a lot to process! And that’s just the tip of my emotional iceberg. Being cursed and flung from body to body and life to life was clearly traumatic, and really, so is being here fused to Jack, which is lovely but represents another life-changing event that I haven’t yet, can’t even begin to deal with. I know it’s going to take a long time to fully come to terms with everything, but right now I’m mostly just relieved to be free and with Jack again. I mean, I can drink my own tea!

Jack who had been so quiet and patient, eventually asked for permission to take control of our body. Early results indicate that we both can control any part of our conjoined form, but that we each have a ‘dominant’ pair of hands that we get first priority of somehow. Legs seem to be more of a shared utility that work by consensus, which so far has been us taking turns piloting. Our legs seem to naturally scuttle along without too much thought, but I wonder what will happen when we disagree. Will our legs just freeze up until we work out a plan? Or will they pick a side based on who is more insistent? Fully sharing a body is a new experience and it’s weird how natural it feels given it’s unusual setup. I’d nodded sure to Jack, relaxed my control of the leg reins, and he scuttled us to his office and computer, promising it was worth the detour.

“There, got it,” Jack says triumphantly. “Sorry that took a second.” Jack takes a moment to smooth out our skirt, adjust our shirt a little, and adorably, to fix her hair. “You ready?”

“For what?”

“Your fans!”

“What?” But it’s too late and the video chat has started and there is the familiar face of Eliza peering at me from the screen.

“Coach! I can see you?” She smiles timidly, “Does this mean the plan worked?”

“Yes,” I say smiling back, it’s good to see my shy graphic designer again. “I hear I owe you a big thanks for making a Coach-themed website and crowdsourcing a rescue.”

“Well, it seemed like the least I could do after all the help you gave me...”

“Lizzy, stop hogging the screen!” Another familiar voice calls from off-camera. Eliza blushes and the world in the screen moves and suddenly I can see more of the room and that Molly is there too, seated next to Eliza on a certain familiar couch. Molly the museum curator who I solved a heist with in one of my more memorable Coach missions. From this new camera angle I can see that they’re both sporting their cursed bonus features under their clothes. Eliza still has three breasts and her three-legged double-pussy configuration below the waist. Molly is as posh and polished as ever and still has her five breasts and arms that split at the elbows into double forearms. But what is Molly doing at Eliza’s apartment? And did she call her Lizzy? And oh my gosh they aren’t just sitting on that couch, they’re cuddling! “‘Allo Coach!”

“Wait a second, are you two together? Like together-together? I feel like I need an update here.”

The two women look at each other, Molly smiles impishly, and Eliza blushes and says, “I guess this all started because of the Coach Forum. I found it really weird to be, well, different, and it made me a little crazy that no one seemed to notice. I knew I wasn’t your only bodymate, but I couldn’t find anything when I googled it. So um, I made the website to find other people to talk to about this? And maybe try and help you in some way?” She smiles apologetically, “And I found the project soothing, honestly. Something to dive into instead of just feeling anxious....”

Molly puts her arm and a half over Eliza’s shoulder and gives her a squeeze. “And after our rather big todo I did what any rational woman would and searched online for answers. I found Lizzy’s website and we started chatting about our changes, and about you, and then just because we enjoyed each other. It turns out we’re both completely bonkers about the same rubbish.”

“She means we have the same interests.”

“Quite!”

“And then I went to a gallery show with some coworkers and saw a pretty woman with too many breasts and arms...”

“And I spotted a cute lady with an extra leg and tit...”

“So we met each other IRL and realized we lived in the same city. We decided to meet up for coffee and art exhibits...”

“And one thing led to another and yes, we’ve been dating for a couple months now.”

I smile, well that’s frickin’ adorable! “Eliza, it seems that my real mission with you was a success!” Eliza smiles and nods her head, blushing. “And Molly I had no idea you were gay.”

Molly chuckles, “Well it never came up. We were rather busy at the time...”

I laugh, “Yeah, that episode certainly put the ‘adventure’ in ‘misadventure’.”

“I’m happy to report the culprits have all been caught, the artifacts returned, and I have yet to be sacked.”

“I’m glad.”

“Lizzy, you should tell her your other news...”

“Oh! Right! So after I got my promotion, thanks for that, Tim, my boss if you remember, got offered a full executive partnership at a competing firm and brought me along to run his graphics department. I’m a creative director now...”

“Wow! Congratulations!” I grin, “I’m sure you’re great at it!”

Molly gives her girlfriend a squeeze, “She absolutely is!”

Eliza just blushes. 

“Sorry to cut the fun short ladies,” Jack says, “But I think it’s time to hit up our next caller.” 

We all say our goodbyes, Molly instructs me to visit, and Eliza shyly offers to make me business cards. Then the computer is dialing up the next video chat and another familiar face fills the screen.

“Coach!”

“Angie!” My recovering virgin and still the owner of four arms and breasts. I smile, it’s much nicer seeing her face-to-face than being stuck as her vagina.

“Did it work? Are you free?”

“Yep! I’m a wandering head no more, now of fixed body address.”

Angie makes a happy squealling noise, “That’s amazing! I wonder if my spells helped?”

“Spells?”

Angie looks bashful, “Yeah, I got back into Wiccan a bit? It seemed like, now that I know magic is real, that maybe it’s not so silly?”

I blink my eyes. Huh, I'd never thought of that. The fact magic exists really changes the math on recreational witchcraft. “That makes complete sense.”

Angie smiles, “Cool.”

“So how did things work out with Tony? You crazy kids still having fun?”

Angie’s face does something complicated that’s a combination of wistful, smug, horny, and embarrassed. “It’s more like we had fun? We, um, experimented for a while? But then he got restless and decided to make for the ski mountains to work in the kitchen of some fancy chalet hotel thing...”

“Ah, I’m sorry...”

“Yeah, it sucked, but you were right about getting like, the bandaid off. And it was great while it lasted.”

And suddenly there is another girl on screen, a pretty twenty-something with a sloppy mullet wearing only a loose t-shirt. She all but tackles Angie in a hug before noticing the video chat. “Angie who ya talkin’ to?”

“Chloe!” Angie complains and blushes. “This is Coach...”

“Hi Coach!” Chloe says brightly before poking Angie in the ribs. “Ang’, Darin finally woke up and Will wants to know if you want come back to bed...” She gives Angie’s ear a nibble and tugs on one of her arms. Angie's eyes go wide and she bites her lip. “Sorry Coach, talk later? I kinda... gotta...”

I laugh, “No problem! Go get ‘em sport!”

The call ends and Jack giggles “*That* was your virgin?”

“I guess someone is making up for lost time? I’m so proud of her.”

“You’re a terrible influence,” Jack says while starting another video call.

This time the screen shows a pair of women in a familiar comic shop. “Coach!” The beautiful woman with blue hair and six breasts packed into a lacy black tunic says happily. 

“Tracy!” 

“And this is Alexa,” Tracy says indicating the compact woman hovering next to her. “You can see her right?”

“I can see a two headed woman,” Alexa confirms.

“Hi,” I say.

“I understand we’ve met,” she says with a twinkle.

I blush and try not to think about her naked and on top of us, on top of me, the feeling of my penis inside her. “Yeah,” I croak. “This is Jack...”

Tracy saves the day: “So the plan worked! How’s it feel to have also joined team girl?”

Jack licks her lips, “I’m still getting used to the idea. Any advice?”

Tracy moues gorgeously, “I don’t know what will work for you, but I decided to steer into it and at least try it out. I mean, everyone thinks I’ve always been a girl and how often do you get the chance to try on a new gender? And maybe it’s the curse or something about me or whatever, but I found myself liking it.”

I breath a sigh of relief, “Really, you aren’t just saying that to make me feel better?”

“No,” Tracy shakes her head. “It’s funny, but being girl-me is really cool. I’m still Tracy the comic book dork in all the ways that are important to me, but I guess I was always kind of holding myself back from liking certain things because of dumb ideas about manliness? It’s been like discovering all these hidden interests; I really do like fashion and cosplay and random cute stuff now that I have permission. And there is this whole community of awesome geeky women that I’m suddenly a part of which has been really fun.” Tracy blushes, “And well, I’m hot now? Being attracted to myself like this is... exciting? As a guy I never really felt handsome or beautiful or whatever, but now I do. And it’s fun being the centre of attention.” Tracy rolls her eyes and laughs, “I sound like such a narcissistic twat.”

“Maybe a little,” Alexa says, giving Tracy a hip bump. “But I agree you are pretty hot.”

“About that,” I say, “how do you feel about the whole reality warping curse thing? I mean you were dating a guy and poof now you’re engaged to a woman.”

Alexa scrunches her face up in thought, “It is a bit of a mindfuck. As far as I can remember I’ve always been bisexual? I mostly dated guys; I’ve always liked nerdy things and it was always easy to find cute boys who did too. But I definitely remember dating women; my main college sweetheart was this willowy music major who I was with for more than a year.” She shakes her head, “Dating women was always a compromise for me though, between wanting the softness of a lady and, this sounds awful, but I really like cocks. Whenever things got serious with a woman I’d always miss having a real live penis around. So when I met Tracy it was like the best of both worlds: here was this sexy lady who was also the best hung lover I’d ever had. And she has six tits! And she owns her own comic shop! It was like someone cast a spell and made the perfect person for me.” Alexa shrugs, “I guess it’s possible I wasn’t bi before? But it’s equally possible I’ve always felt this way, and maybe the curse made Tracy a better fit for me. It’s impossible to be sure.” Alexa wraps her arms around Tracy and smiles, “All I know is I’m super happy and about to marry my very sexy best friend. Why worry about existential hypotheticals?” 

I am deeply relieved that Tracy and Alexa seem cool with their situations and that I didn’t manage to fuck up their relationship. “So when is the big wedding day?”

“Speaking of our impending nuptials...” Alexa says, a worryingly playful expression on her face.

“We were wondering if you would officiate the ceremony,” Tracy says smiling. 

“Oh wow, I’d be honored to,” I smile and bite my lip, touched that despite everything they would want me there for their big day. “Except I’m not a minister?”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Tracy says, “We’re planning to do the legal stuff down at the courthouse so we really only need someone for the ceremonial part. And we have a script for you to follow.”

“Well okay, I’m in.”

Alexa grins mischievously, “We are going to need you to dress up like the Watcher though.”

“The who?”

“The Watcher. Tall alien with a giant bald head that wears a toga and cape. Appears at important moments in the Marvel Universe to observe key events for posterity. Isn’t allowed to directly interfere. The main one’s name is Uatu.”

“Um... Okay?”

Tracy laughs, “She’s joking! Just wear something nice but comfortable. We’re going to save the cosplay for the reception.”

Alexa smiles, “Although you two really should think about coming as the Watcher, it’s perfect. I’ll even make the costume.”

“We’ll talk about it.”

“Anyway,” Tracy says, “I know you have a lot going on, so we should say goodbye for now and talk later.”

“Be strange,” Alexa says, “but don’t be a stranger!”

And then the call is over and Jack is queuing up another one. “Just one more...”

“Abby!”

“Coach!” 

Oh my god it’s Abby! Ahhh! I’m so excited to see her! I’ve missed her so much. We both smile at each other like idiots and then try to talk at the same. “Oh my god...” “How are...” “Did it...” “Are...” “No you...” “Ahhhhhh!” We both finally exclaim and then laugh. 

Jack shakes her head and grins. “Yes the plan worked, yes Allison is free of the curse, and yes you are both very excited to see each other.”

Abby smiles, her familiar face dimpling. “That’s fantastic!”

“It is! I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too!”

“Sorry you got stuck as a humantaur...”

“It’s fine, actually. I’m used to it, no one really notices besides Dave, and he absolutely loves it. Plus having two vaginas is worth the inconvenience.” Abby laughs, “I’m actually more upset you left me with all these ridiculous animal print tights!”

“You’re welcome,” I grin. “And having two vaginas was definitely fun, but I think I may have got an upgrade on that...”

“Oh really?”

“Check it out.” I take control of our long flexible tail cock and lift it into frame, the phallic tip chastely covered in a cotton sock. “We have both kinds of bits and enough flexibility to totally fuck ourselves!”

Abby looks delighted, “Oh! You will have to tell me what that’s like!” Then she tilts her head and frowns, “Are you wearing a sock on your cock?”

I laugh, “It’s all we had!”

“That’s such a faux pas.”

“I’ve only got Jack’s wardrobe to work with here...”

Jack blushes, “It’s a nice sock! And I like my clothes...”

Abby and I share a look and laugh. 

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“I can’t wait to come visit!” I say, changing the subject. “I want to finally meet your family for real! Play with Irina and Nat! Give Dave a hard time...”

“Actually, rather than coming for a visit, what if you both just moved here?” Abby asks.

“That’s really nice, but I don’t think I should move back into your home...”

Abby shakes her head, “That’s not what I’m suggesting; I love you but eight months of intimate cohabitation was enough. I’d like to offer you a job and maybe a place to stay. Do you remember that old house I talked about maybe buying? Well I bought it. With you gone and the race over, you were right that I needed a new project. I thought I could try my hand at flipping houses.” Abby smiles ruefully, “But it turns out I’m in way over my head and could really use the expertise of a craftsman. And if said craftsman just so happens to have my best friend stuck to them, all the better.”

“What exactly are you offering?” Jack asks.

“That you come here and work on renovating the house with me. In return I’ll cut you in for half the profits from the resale after I recoup my initial investment and expenses. I can also advance you a salary from your share of the eventual sale so you have some cash flow, and you’re both welcome to live in the house for free while we work on it.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Jack says, “but what about other work? I think we’ll need steadier income than just house flipping...”

Abby nods, “With my husband’s connections to the real estate business, I’m sure I can keep you busy. He’s always complaining about needing reliable guys on the quick.”

Jack nods, “Sounds good to me. What do you say Allison?”

“She had me at ‘Coach’.”

“Excellent!” Abby beams and claps her hands, “Alright! With that settled, stand up and turn around! I want to see how you two turned out!”

***

“So what now?”

Jack stretches her neck, “I guess we could start packing?”

It’s later, after the video calls and a dinner of wonderfully shitty delivery pizza that I was able to eat all by myself. We’re up in the small bedroom Jack colonized while he’s fixing the master, his familiar homemade furniture filling the room. I breath in, savoring the familiar smell of saw dust and solvents, the unfamiliar scent of girl sweat that’s replaced Jack’s previous smell. I smile at her, “Oh, I can think of something better...” And I kiss her, hungrily, use my hands to hold her face to mine. Jack kisses me back, enthusiastic but patient. We’ll just have to see if I can fix that. 

I slide all four of our arms along our body, unbutton our plaid shirt, and cup our four breasts, heft them, clutch them, squeeze them. Jack moans and I kiss her again, slip my tongue into her mouth. Jack takes control of her arms and starts to stroke and rub, and I concede my own hands too. Jack continues to caress and play and I hum into her lips and just enjoy the feeling of rough, calloused hands on my tits. Oh I missed this, so so much! I take back one of my hands, stroke a hard nipple, and then pinch it, just that perfect amount, hard enough to spark pleasure, sharp enough to hurt a little. Jack gasps and kisses me back, hunger finally passing restraint. “You like that?” I ask, pulling back. Jack nods, kisses me again, bites my lip a little. 

I can feel our excitement start to feed on itself, our arousal rebounding between us and growing. Our heart is racing in our chest and we’ve both started to pant a little. Jack squeezes our beasts and I press our front thighs together; our stomach is full of butterflies and I can feel our pulse beat in our crotch. I ruck up our skirt and reach down with a hand, a finger, and draw it back to front along our labia, feeling how hot and wet our pussy is. I rest my fingertip on the hard bump of our clit and Jack shivers, gasps. “Do you like that?” I pant. “Can you feel how wet we are?” Jack moans. I slowly slip a finger inside us, press my palm against our clit. Jack bites her lip, closes her eyes, face pinched in pleasure. “Oh God Allison...”

“Call me Coach,” I purr into her ear.

Behind us our tail pulses urgently with the still alien feeling of an engorged cock. We’re so hard that the phallic tip of our tail actually aches. I take control of our cock, loop it down around under our strange quadruple hips, pressing the warm smooth shaft of our tail firmly into the cleft of our cunt, rub it against us like a thigh as I lift the tip of our cock-tail up the front of our body. I worm our tail up between our tits and we gasp at the sensations from our labia, breasts, and the so, so sensitive skin of our cock. I use my mouth to pull the sock off the tip of our tail, reveal the almost fist sized bell of our glans, shiny and slick with precum. “We’re huge...” I say with not a little bit of wonder and then kiss our cock, lick it, try to fit it in my mouth. Jack gasps and our body writhes as I just barely manage to wrap my mouth around our cock. I gag a little, can’t breath, but remember the two-headed trick of letting my bodymate do that for both of us. I use our hands to press our breasts in tight against our cock and start to suck it, tit-fucking ourselves, a thing I’d never really enjoyed until now. Jack whines in my ear, kisses my cheek and ear and neck while I start to thrust our tail, rub it in our cleavage, grind it along our cunt, fuck my face with it. Jack is gasping, panting, moaning and I feel a bit dizzy. Oh fuck, getting a blowjob while giving it is so much better than just giving it. My jaw aches, our cock-tail is so big, but I keep going, an inward sexual spiral like 69 curled in on itself. 

I can feel the pleasure growing, an urgent pressure in our balls near the base of our cock-tail, but I’m not ready for this to end yet, so I slow down, let our cock slide out of my mouth. I gasp and work my jaw, wipe the drool from my mouth and then I go back to teasing us, kissing and licking our cock-tail, kneading our breasts, grinding and sliding our tail-cock along our pussy lips. Jack makes a sound like a frustrated war cry and kisses our cock too, joining me in the licking and sucking, trying and failing to force the glans into his mouth. “Fuck,” she whines, “I need more...”

“Tell me what you want...”

“Coach,” Jack pleads, “I want you to fuck us. I want to be inside ourselves.” She presses her lips to me ear, and breaths “Fill meeee....”

Oh Jesus fuck! My teeth almost chatter in desire! Why is this so hot? Fuck we’re so hot and wet and hard at once! I almost whipcrack our cock-tail getting it around and behind us, lining it up for penetration. I bunch our loose skirt up above our waist, cool air on our hot hips. Carefully I press our cock head against our pussy lips, slick wet and heat touching, sparking like crossed wires. “Yessss...” I hiss and Jack presses her face against mine. I try to push our cock into us, but it slips, clumsy and unfamiliar. I reach down and help guide it in like an inexperienced boyfriend. And “Ooooooh...” “Ahhhhhh...” I press our cock slowly inside and feel us part and stretch wider and wider. Fuck! We’re so big! And sooo tight! And both at the same time, a clash of sensation, being filled and filling at once! The glorious feeling of having that hungry space inside filled past bursting, the wonderfully weird feeling of penetration, our length held in our own boiling embrace. “Oh fuck!” “Nnnnn!” And our cock is so big that it almost hurts, and it’s still just the tip! I press a couple more inches in and Jack and I moan together, almost like harmony. I flex and twist the tail-cock inside of us making us writhe, making us gasp in stereo. “Coach....” Jack whines and I want to make her scream. 

Growling, I slowly withdraw our tail, pulling it halfway out before pushing it back in, inch by inch. Jack mewls, “Don’t stop...” And so I don’t, feeding more and more of our cock into us, pausing only to wiggle it when it’s too much. “Oh fuck,” we feel enormous inside ourselves! Like our entire being is wrapped around ourselves! Like we are trying to break ourselves open! Jack groans in my ear, “yessssss....” And our cock twitches inside of us and I’m not sure which one of us is controlling it anymore. I’m not sure I care! We start to thrust into our cunt, to piston our tail in and out of us. Jack and I moan and gasp, our cock pumps faster, we wobble on our four legged stance, multiply weak kneed. “Ooooh!” Our cock is slamming into us and we’ve somehow stumbled forward, flopped facedown onto Jack’s bed, one pair of legs kneeling on the floor and one pair of legs spread in the air. Our four hands grip the bedspread, our body rocks on our breasts and “Ahhh!” We’re fucking ourselves! We’re too big! We’re too hard! We’re being pounded into oblivion! We’re doing the pounding! And fuck it feels so good! “Oh fuck fuck fuck!” We’re so close! I can feel the orgasm approaching and I’m moaning and Jack wails “Coach!” as we come, cunt spasming and cock erupting together, our own cum boiling inside of us in a hot splash! It’s amazing! Incredible! Explosive! 

And then....

***

...I wake up.

In exactly the same place. 

Well sort of, since I’m tucked into bed now. We’re tucked into bed, since I can feel our shared body, the tangle of our limbs, the sticky ache of our pussy and cocktail. I turn my head and see Jack, Jacqueline, a sleeping head on the pillow next to me. Her face is inches from mine, close enough that I’m going a bit cross eyed looking at her. I reach up with one of our arms and touch her face and she stirs, eyes opening. She smiles sleepily at me and I kiss her softly. “Good morning,” she whispers.

I smile back at her, it is a good morning.

Hopefully the first of many.

***

The End.