Birding

 Birding

“What’re you ‘fraid of? The ol’ witch of the woods?”

“Kate, I’m worried about the owner of that mansion and how they’re going to react when they find us trespassing.”

“You’re worryin’ over nothin’ hun.”

“There were signs!”

Kate held up her binoculars to her eyes and cartoonishly pantomimed searching the area. “Ah don’t see nothin’.”

Alex sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He loved Kate but she was always dragging him into these situations. Just a lil’ ‘venturin’ is all. Don’tcha worry yourself hun. It’ll be a lark! One misdemeanor charge and an attack dog later…and he was still here doing this with her. Because, well, Kate.

“Hey!” Kate said brightly, “Oriole!”

Alex looked over at Kate, her eyes glued to her binoculars and her finger pointed skyward. Alex tracked where she was pointing and quickly lifted his camera to his eye, adjusted the zoom of his telephoto lens, and fiddled with the focus until he could clearly see the black and orange bird studying them from a nearby tree. He squeezed the camera trigger, taking a burst of photos while he massaged the focus to find the perfect shot. Hopefully. 

The Baltimore Oriole glared at them for a long moment before giving an angry whistle and launching himself into the air. Alex tried to track him as he flew away, rattling off several more photos. Once the Oriole banked out of view Alex lowered his camera and smiled at Kate, “Okay that was worth it.”

“Come on, Ah reckon he went this way.” Kate was already slipping between plants and deeper into the property. Alex almost protested, but then stopped himself, sighed, and followed. He watched his girlfriend blithely saunter through what was most likely poison ivy with her long pale legs bare below short cutoff jean shorts, her eyes scanning the trees for birds. She scratched at her arm, bare too since she’d rolled up the sleeves of the dark long shirt Alex had badgered her into wearing. Kate had also tied up the front of her shirt to expose her midriff, a choice that Alex didn’t think was wise but found himself rather enjoying. Kate looked back at him, blue eyes sparkling below close cropped blonde hair, “Hurry up!”

Alex carefully picked his way through the bramble, confident that his own clothing of hiking boots, cargo pants, and sturdy hemp button down would ward off any nettles. He paused, caught for a second, backpack full of camera gear and supplies snagged on a branch. He freed himself, adjusted his bucket hat and hurried down a slope after inpatient Kate.

They were now on a thin almost trail under the cover of the open, swampy forest that ran along the small river to their left. The big manor house was to their right, surrounded by its formal gardens, lawns, and a view preserving swath of native meadowland that blended into a marshy turn in the river. Upslope of the house the property contained a large stand of denser fairly old growth deciduous trees, big oaks and sycamore and sugar maples. According to satellite maps, there was even a pond tucked somewhere behind the house. It was a lovely property and really perfect for birding since it mixed so many bird habitats in such a small space…

Alex almost barged right into Kate who’d stopped, binoculars up. “Ah see him!” She urgently whispered. Alex brought his camera up just in time to see a blurry orange and black bird leap into the air and flap away again. “Come on, this way,” Kate grabbed his arm and urged him on.

“Kate…”

“Shhhh.”

There was a big blue jay perched in a tree in front of them. Just sitting there watching them, almost posing. Slowly, so as not to frighten it, Alex raised his camera and sighted the bird. Steady… steady…

“ARK!”

Alex startled violently as the blue jay screamed at them, quite loud coming from such a short distance away.

“ARK ARK ARK ARK!!!”

The blue jay was just staying there, puffing itself up, screeching at them. Alex blinked his brown eyes, usually jays were more furtive and would hop away, bounce up higher into the tree, and yell from behind some leafy cover, if not just fly away completely. This strange little blue corvid was just perching there, now with opened beating wings, screaming like a warning. Were they intruding on a nest? Did the blue jay’s chicks fall to the ground? Was the bird about to dive bomb them? “What a weird bird…”

“Alex, stop your starin’ and get a photo!” Kate hissed.

“Right!” Alex refocused his camera and snapped off a burst of photos. The blue jay get kept glaring and screeching, so he was pretty sure he was getting some excellent shots, probably some of his best jay pics since the birds usually avoided him and his camera like it was a sport. Through his lens the jay seemed to roll it’s eyes at him and disdainfully fly away. Alex tracked it with his camera until it winged out of sight. “That was amazing,” he looked at Kate and smiled, “thanks for dragging me in here.”

Kate smiled back, “We ain’t done yet! Come on, let’s see what else we can get a gander at.”

Kate led Alex further along the trail which opened into a strange little garden. Alex frowned, the garden was shaded by surrounding trees, almost more of a glade than anything, and it was filled with tall standing stones. Alex examined one of the stones, seeing that it was carved by a pattern of whorls and grooves, made smooth by weather and time. The stones were arranged in loose concentric circles, set into plant beds filled with familiar herbs and nightshade. Alex framed a particularly interesting stone with a smooth hole bored through it, surrounded by rosemary, thyme, and lavender and snapped a photo.

“Hun, take a gander at this…”

Alex found found Kate in the middle of the garden standing in front of a central stone, some sort of altar. It was squat, plain and smooth instead of carved, except for a deep, round divot in the top like a bowl. The stone bowl was stained with something dark and smelled strongly of the herbs growing all around. Alex focused his camera and took a pic.

“You! Cretins! What are you doing here!!!”

Kate and Alex looked up startled and were confront by an angry looking woman storming towards them wearing stained overalls, gardening gloves, and a wide black hat. She looked furiously at them with flashing green eyes and was pointing at then with a small trowel. “Explain yourselves! You do not belong here!”

“Run!” Kate cried happily, pulling Alex’s arms and dragging him back into the bushes and down the path.

“You’ll regret this!!!” The woman shouted after them, her voice crackling with malevolent force. 

“Have to catch us first,” Kate said running ahead of Alex and crashing through the scrub. Alex chased after her, branches scratching and grabbing, stumbling on roots, until they emerged breathless in a little clearing closer to the river. Kate finally stopped, panting, judged they were far enough away from the angry woman. “Reckon she’s callin’ the cops?”

“We should leave,” Alex started to say before he felt something strange wash over him. His skin prickled and crawled and he felt for a heartbeat like he was lifted outside of his body. “What was that?”

Kate was looking back at him, uncertain, stroking her arms. “You felt that too?”

Alex felt flush and itchy, started to scratch, was worried that maybe they’d run through something poisonous. He put his backpack on the ground and carefully placed his camera next to it, started to roll up his sleeves to check for welts. “Alex,” Kate said worried, holding up her arms which were spotted with something. Alex frowned, the bumps were a warm grey, hairy instead of bumpy and growing longer as he looked. They looked like… feathers?

“What?” Alex said dumbly. He looked at the back of his hands and saw tiny bright red feathers growing on him too. His own itchiness intensified and he started to scratch all over. He looked at Kate who had ripped off her shirt, furiously scratching, showing that her skinny torso and small, high breasts were sprouting bright yellow feathers. Alex fumbled the buttons of his shirt open and saw his chest was growing his own red plumage. “What’s happening?”

Kate made a kind of warbling sound and Alex saw that her arms were covered in longer grey feathers, long and straight like the flight feathers of a bird. She kicked herself out of her shoes and shorts, revealing that she was growing a tail of grey feathers with a cheeky white tuft of down under her ass. Kate glared at him, her face covered in bright yellow fuzz, “Stop gawkin’ and get your clothes off!”

Alex could feel his own arm feathers bunch in his sleeves and his feet painfully crowd in his boots. Hastily he undressed, his feathery hands struggling to get out of his shirt and untie his laces. His fingers felt dumb, changed into something less dexterous but longer, as were his arms. He somehow managed to get his boots open and kicked them off revealing feet like clawed, scaley hands. Bird feet, three toed and bright orange. He looked helplessly at his hands, now fingerless mittens sprouting long flight feathers. What the fuck was happening! He pipped in dismay. 

“Here, let me get those pants off you…” Kate hopped over on her own black bird legs, canted backward at the knee, and used her clawed feet to slash and pull Alex’s pants off, freeing his red tail feathers which sprang out from painfully cramped confines. He fanned his tail out wide in relief. Kate fluttered her wings, which is what her arms were now, grey and wider than she was tall, framing the narrow contours of her body which was covered in the brightest yellow down. She looked at him with her blue eyes from her yellow face, her nose covered by a sharp black beak. “Cardinal, Ah reckon.”

“What?” Alex folded his own wings behind him and perched on his weirdly avian legs. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a cardinal now. Well, a cardinal harpy Ah suspect. Human lookin’ head and torso, wings for arms, tail feathers, and birdy legs like out of ol’ myths, except bright red like a cardinal bird.” She tilted her head like a curious bird and warbled, “Ah like your crest.”

“Thanks?”

“What kind of bird am Ah?”

“You’re taking this entirely too well…”

Kate sang with amusement, “Well this is right fuckin’ crazy! An’ maybe cool if it weren’t absolutely insane and terrifyin’! But we might as well try’n keep our heads and figure it out…” She puffed up her chest and spread her wings, “And Ah want to at least know what kind of bird Ah am.”

Alex bobbed his head and studied Kate over the bright orange of his beak of a nose. She was mostly very yellow, bright like a lemon but with warm grey wings. Her face was covered in short yellow feathers and her pixie cut hair-turned-plummage blended in seamlessly and swept back over her head in a tight cap. She still had her human lips, but her nose was covered by a sharp looking black beak. The yellow down continued down her torso and over her chest, where her breasts, slightly larger somehow, hung yellow and fuzzy except for the naked pink of her nipples. Instead of arms Kate had wide grey wings and a long straight tail feathers of the same warm grey. Her hips were human and shapely but at midthigh they became black and scaly like a bird. Below that Kate’s legs were entirely avian, thin with backward knees, feet that were splayed and long toed and clawed like a bird. Alex thought she was, despite everything, very beautiful and he felt his loins start to grow embarrassingly warm looking at her.

“Well?” She said.

“Oh. Right… Prothonotary Warbler I think?”

Kate warbled happily, “Ah reckon Ah can live with that.” 

Kate began to hop around experimentally, to flutter her wings a little, and Alex couldn’t help but stare. The way her wing beats made her breasts sway, the glimpses of the white fluff under her tail feathers, the quick glimpses of pink labia peaking out of yellow thighs… it was enrapturing. It made his heart beat wildly and weirdly made him want to sing. He knew he shouldn’t be turned on right now, that wanting to fuck was not at all appropriate or useful but oh god he was horny. His crotch was burning hot and tight and… wet? 

Why did his arousal feel so strange?

Alex furled his wings and bent down to examine himself and…

His cock was gone!

He had a pussy?

He squawked in dismay! “What the fuck!?”

“What’s the trouble?”

“I have a vagina!”

Kate looked at his crotch and shook her yellow head. “That’s a cloaca, Ah think. Ah reckon Ah have one too.”

“Why am I a girl bird!?”

Kate whistled in amusement, “You ain’t! All song birds have a cloaca, males and females. Saves weight for flyin’. Ah’m ready to bet you’re still a boy.”

“Oh!” Alex blushed under his feathers, already so red. “Okay.”

“And you’re wet, ain’t you? Like’n what your seein’?” Kate puffed out her tits, opened her wings and tail, and wiggled her hips in a little display. 

Alex felt his weird arousal intensify, tight like an erection in his belly, tingly and wet and strange. “Y-yes, b-but! This isn’t the time for this?”

“And why not? I’m feelin’ frisky too.” Kate bobbed her head and warbled, “and you make a very handsome cardinal…”

“But shouldn’t we?”

“After…”

And okay, yes, okay. Alex felt the horny song in his chest burst free, and he whistled at Kate, sang his passion to her, called his love. She smiled, peeped, and flew into his embrace, wings awkwardly hugging, mouths hungrily kissing. Kate’s hard nose-beak scratched at his face and her feathers brushed and tugged at his, but her lips were still warm and wanton and playful. Alex felt the weird hot, tightness in his belly intensify, a clenching ache. And then Kate pressed her feathery thigh into the yawning empty space between his legs and Alex squawked in shock. Pleasure exploded from his crotch, from the pressure on what must be his sensitive new lips, the labia of his cloaca. He tried to back away, but Kate pressed herself harder to him and he moaned as another starburst of pleasure sparked through him. The sensation was strange and glorious and too much! How could he be this sensitive? How much better would it feel when they actually had sex. Alex sang and started to grind his cloaca against Kate.

Kate straddled one of Alex’s thighs and started to grind her own cloaca agianst him. He felt the heat and wet of her even through his red feathers, felt her shudder and twitch against him. And then they were kissing again, crotch to thigh, chest to chest, beaks sometimes clacking, hearts hammering in chests, wings fluttering. Fuck it all felt so good, too good. He wanted to lay her down and fuck her, but he didn’t have a cock so… “Oh god… how, how do we do this?”

“Like this,” Kate said while breathing hard. She released him and hopped backward, laid herself on the ground. Alex looked down at her, studied the outstretched grey of her wings, her heaving yellow down covered breasts, her spread open feathery thighs, the tail feathers fanned wide underneath. He saw her pussy, no her cloaca, open and engorged and glistening. It looked so much like a pussy, but also not. Instead of the tight oval of layered pink petals with a clitoris apex, Kate’s new genitals were more open, like a horseshoe with a rim of pink labia spanning the top and sides and a kind bulge or bump inside at the bottom. It was weird and so obviously aroused, wet and enflamed, and was somehow the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. He shuddered in anticipation, but was frozen with not knowing what to do. “Stop starin’ and get down here!”

“What?”

“Lay yourself down on the ground like this.”

Alex, still unsure, let himself fall to his back on the ground, spread his wings and legs. He felt vulnerable and silly and still so, so turned on. “Wh-what now?”

“Songbirds breed with a cloaca kiss,” Kate said while she scooted herself along the ground, pushed herself toward him with her wings. Alex looked down and saw her feet, sharped clawed and scaled, like a predator attacking, and felt a spike of nervousness. “What?” he asked and Kate said “shhhh…” And then she slipped her legs between his, thighs nesting almost perpendicular, her hips tilted so that her tail feathers tucked neatly under his leg. “You ready?” She sang and then slowly pressed herself down so that all at once their cloaca where touching, kissing, lips to lips. Alex peeped in pleasure and Kate warbled. It felt so good! A shocking bolt of rightness that sang through his body, new nerve endings exploding with their true purpose. Their thighs flexed together, yellow and red feathers brushing, their bodies arched, and Kate pressed herself down harder, twisting, grinding her cloaca into his. They both gasped and sang! His sensitive lips were screaming in pleasure! The slick hot pressure of Kate’s cloaca against his was making him wild and he couldn’t stop peeping and chirping. But fuck he needed more, more pressure, more rubbing. Alex braced himself and thrust back against Kate who was writhing, grinding grinding grinding their clocaca together. The two began to work against each other, pushing and twisting their hips, finding a rhythm of stimulation, scissoring. Their slick cloaca labia rubbed and mashed, slipping and grinding, hot and wet pressed against hot and wet. They panted and warbled, moaned and sang, and Alex began to feel a familiar pressure growing inside. He felt something inside himself build, begging to be released, but held barely back by determination not to let go too soon. He writhed against Kate harder, clenching her body between his thighs and she responded, squeezing him, strengthening the knot of their bodies. Alex was about to cum! Somehow! But it was too soon! He wanted this to go on and on and on. But oh fuck he was so close down this was all so new and strange and sexy and…. He let out a sharp, loud note and all at once something inside him clenched and a pulsing, spewing feeling filled his stomach, and he was shooting something out of his cloaca hole, ejaculating onto and into Kate. Kate let out her own wild note and squeezed her thighs down hard on Alex, twisted and thrashed as she came too. They shuddered and twisted together like wires under tension, both singing involuntarily, carried away by their new orgasms.

“Wow, that was hot!”

Alex startled! He had been laying bonelessly on the ground, wings and tail splayed, Kate still lazily pretzeled around his legs, post coital. They both hopped awkwardly to their feet, scrabbling and frantic and calling in dismay! Alex, panting, looked way up up up to a tree and saw perched on a branch another bird harpy, like them, except black and orange. Baltimore Oriole colours like the bird they had seen earlier. The Oriole harpy was male, like him, with strong facial features covered in black feathers, a broad chest and thighs with bright orange plumage, and a back, tail, and wings covered in black feathers with extra white highlights on the wing. The Oriole had has wings tucked behind his back and perched easily on the branch and looked amused. “Fuck sakes,” Kate said, “Don’t be startlin’ us like that!”

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” Oriole said, singing a little at the end. 

Alex frowned up at the bird-man, something was bothering him. The Oriole harpy seemed so incredibly high up on the tree, like skyscraper high, and the branch he was standing on wasn’t very large, really more of a twig. Which meant the Oriole had to be quite small and he looked like them and… Alex looked over at his discarded backpack and camera and saw they were huge, the dslr camera easily as big as he was. Alex stared into the towering lens like a large mirror, looked at his orange beaked, red crested complexion and blinked, how is this real? Agog he hopped over to the backpack, perched on it like a parked car, clutched at it with his bird feet. Alex and Kate were tiny now, bird-sized, they must have shrunk while they were fucking. Alex peeped in dismay, “Kate! We’re tiny!”

Kate looked at him and the backpack wide eyed and emitted a worried warble. “Wait,” she said glaring up at the Oriole, “That must mean *you* were the bird we were watchin’!”

“Guilty,” the Oriole said. “I’m afraid to say you’re both cursed now, for trespassing. To everyone else you look like ordinary birds; a cardinal and…?”

“Prothonotary Warbler,” Alex said.

“Geez that’s a beakful. I’m Ori, by the way.”

Alex heard a flutter of wings and there was another bird-sized harpy, this one blue and clearly female. She had a crest of blue feathers on her head in a kind of undercut floof, a black mask across her eyes like glasses, and a white belly, with, Alex noted, a pair of very lovely feathery white breasts. Her wings and tail feathers were brilliant blue and checkered with brilliant white highlights and black stripes. “Call me Jay,” the harpy said in a surprisingly smokey voice. 

“You must be the Blue Jay we saw,” Alex said.

“I was trying to warn you both away,” Jay said and squawked. “Why didn’t you listen?”

“No one ever does,” Ori said shaking his head, smiling a little.

“How long are we stuck like this?” Kate asked quietly.

“Forever? For the rest of your lives?” Jay squawked and shook her head. “As far as we can tell it’s permanent.”

“So what do we do now?” Alex asked before hearing a fanfare of excited chirping. Another harpy flew into view, grey crested and feminine, but smaller than the rest. The new harpy was a titmouse, lithe like a dancer and covered in grey feathers with a prominent crest on her head and little blushes of apricot on her ribs. “New people!” She sang.

“This is Mouse,” Jay said.

“I love your feathers! Red and yellow are both so striking! Are you going to stay here with us?!” Mouse sang in a gasp. “The witch has well stocked feeders with lots of yummy seeds and suet! And she lets us into her conservatory in the winter, which should be nice for you if you’re migratory.’ The titmouse harpy hopped and fluttered on her perch, “She hates people but loves birds!”

“You’re welcome to leave too,” Jay added, “Others have and there’s nothing stopping you. But you should know that the Witch’s mansion and property seems to be enchanted to keep away predators like hawks and owls. So here at least there’s food and safety.”

“Oh Jesus, predators…” Alex puffed out his feathers at the thought.

Kate spread her grey wings, hopped, beat them and became awkwardly, uncertainly airborne. She hovered for a moment and then flew, wheeling easily, swooping up and away, and then gracefully she alighted on the tree next to Mouse. Alex could just stare; Kate flew! His girlfriend had opened her wings and flew! And it was beautiful. She smiled and warbled on her perch and looked down at Alex. “You comin’ or what?”

“What?”

“Ah reckon we ought to join this flock,” Kate said, making Mouse peep happily. “And Ah’m hungry and want to find these suet feeders.”

“Okay.”

Kate impatiently cocked her head, “Hun, get yourself airborne.”

And so Alex spread his red cardinal wings, hopped into the air, and flew into his new life.

***

THE END